Mine! Mine!
There was an article in the New York Times today with the title, To Have, Hold, and Cherish, Until Bedtime. The article described how couples are increasingly sleeping apart in separate bedrooms. The reasons for this include sleeping problems and different schedules. But there were two interesting quotes that I believe point to a larger issue:
And another quote:
A lot of my friends have gotten married over the past several years, and as a single guy, I have found it interesting observing the adjustments my friends have made during their first year of living together. (It seems unanimous that the first year is an extremely tough year.) A common refrain from my female friends is that it is difficult adjusting to a guy living in her house. My male friends have more or less been resigned to the fact that the whole house belongs to their wives, with the possible exception of an office or garage.
In light of this, I find it interesting that women are desiring not only space that is primarily theirs, but also space that is exclusively theirs. And since I've heard similar complaints about female roommates, I would assume that it isn't just because men are hard to live with. (Although that can be true at times!) Still, I wonder why it is that men don't have similar space needs, and why men are so willing to acquiesce to living in a house that is fundamentally not theirs. Perhaps this is why many men like to go out fishing.
I wonder if in the future, married couples will stop living together, and will maintain two separate apartments so that they can have their own space. It doesn't sound terribly economical or romantic, but perhaps its what some people need to make their marriages work. I wonder where the kids will live?
Their wives might be thrilled to have their own bedroom, and see it as a romantic thing - going back to their romance, going back to dating, to intimacy, but their husband might not see it that way.
And another quote:
A lot of people I know fantasize about living in the same apartment building as their husband - but in a separate apartment.
A lot of my friends have gotten married over the past several years, and as a single guy, I have found it interesting observing the adjustments my friends have made during their first year of living together. (It seems unanimous that the first year is an extremely tough year.) A common refrain from my female friends is that it is difficult adjusting to a guy living in her house. My male friends have more or less been resigned to the fact that the whole house belongs to their wives, with the possible exception of an office or garage.
In light of this, I find it interesting that women are desiring not only space that is primarily theirs, but also space that is exclusively theirs. And since I've heard similar complaints about female roommates, I would assume that it isn't just because men are hard to live with. (Although that can be true at times!) Still, I wonder why it is that men don't have similar space needs, and why men are so willing to acquiesce to living in a house that is fundamentally not theirs. Perhaps this is why many men like to go out fishing.
I wonder if in the future, married couples will stop living together, and will maintain two separate apartments so that they can have their own space. It doesn't sound terribly economical or romantic, but perhaps its what some people need to make their marriages work. I wonder where the kids will live?
posted by David at 3/11/2007 11:56:00 AM
1 Comments:
Yes, I had some female friends conclude that women are tougher to have as roommates. In college, most guys can room with almost anybody for a year, but females often had problems.
I've also known several couples (primarily in academia) who reside in different states when the jobs didn't line up.
My own advisor and his wife deliberately did not align their sabbatical years.
What's the point of marriage if you don't want to be with them?
Although, as a guy who often sleeps diagonally on the his bed (and may have acquired snoring), I can see the advantage of separate bedrooms.
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